


Angel's Bad Fur Day (one shot)

by LightYagamiGodKing



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Alastor's thoughts here are inspired by myself when I was younger, Angel Dust Being Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Angel learns a lesson, Asexual Alastor, Crazy, Dark Comedy, Genital Removal, Horny Angel Dust (Hazbin Hotel), Implied Mind Rape, Kind of disturbing, Mind Screw, NO Swearing, No Sex, No Smut, Non-Graphic Violence, One Shot, Random - Freeform, Short One Shot, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, This is weird, What Have I Done, You Have Been Warned, angel dust is a bad person, becoming feral animal, even I am confused, innocent Alastor, moral about asexuality, moral about sexual harassment, seemingly naive alastor, what even is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:34:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23048608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightYagamiGodKing/pseuds/LightYagamiGodKing
Summary: What happens when sex-hungry jerk and creep Angel Dust finds out that Alastor removed his own genitals years ago?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	Angel's Bad Fur Day (one shot)

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't help myself...

Angel Dust was quite satisfied with his afterlife in Hell. Sure, it was Hell, but he had so much fun with all his pleasurable encounters. He loved being himself. There was one thing that disappointed him though. The demon he really wanted was Alastor. But he always seemed so bothered by his advances. Could he really just not be into him? Angel couldn’t believe it. No one could resist him, not even the straight men. He felt like something must be seriously wrong with Alastor if it were true that he just wasn’t into anyone. That was just impossible. It had to be a lie. There had to be a reason why Alastor never acted into anyone at all. It was clearly just because he was too obsessed and dedicated to his evil. That must be the only reason. Right?

Angel couldn’t give up. He had to get Alastor to want him. He felt he knew what he had to do. He was telling him more and more how hot he was and how he wanted to do things with him. This had to work to make Alastor want him more. Angel didn’t get why it just made him more uncomfortable. But he didn’t care. He was a proud bad person. He would never stop no matter how much Alastor said he did not like this. He wasn’t actually touching him so there couldn’t be an issue. Alastor was the grabby one. Surely, he would eventually be grabbing him. Besides, Alastor obviously liked it because he was smiling. There was no reason for anyone to ever be emotionally dishonest. Right?

One fine and hot day in Hell, Angel was hanging around the hotel when only Alastor was around. This was rare because Alastor had started trying to avoid him. Too bad this perfect situation just so happened to happen. Angel turned to the grinning deer demon and asked “Hey, ya think you’d be interested in removing your clothes?”. Surely this would work.  
As luck would have it, for some reason it did. 

“Why sure, good friend!” Alastor happily said. He removed his clothes without hesitation.

Angel could not believe what he saw. 

Alastor had nothing but one little hole where his privates should be. Angel was sure he remembered what the other set of parts looked like. And this was not it. This was barely anything at all.

“Um…”, Angel began, “Why ya just got one little hole? Where are your parts?”.

“Oh?” Alastor asked as he tilted his head. “Haha! I guess it is harder for lessor demons like yourself to use magic to get them removed and replaced with only a hole for urination, isn’t it? So very, very sad.”

“Uh, I guess, but why would you do that?” Angel asked very confused.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Alastor affirmed. “We cannot reproduce down here, and I never desired to anyway. I saw no reason to keep them around. They serve no purpose in the life of an evil demon of great and disturbing power! Was quite a delight to just rip them right off and erase them. Plus it feels cute.” 

The laugh track that accompanied Alastor made Angel feel like he was being mocked. This had to be some kind of weird joke. 

“But, don’t ya realize what I do for a living? Why would I ever want to remove mine?” Angel asked, confused.

Alastor just laughed and replied “Why, don’t you do things like set cucumbers on fire with your posterior for a living? What would you ever need these for? Would you like me to help you remove and erase yours too?”

Angel was almost frozen in shock. “Ummmmm, you’re pretty sheltered, aren’t you?”

Alastor gave another laugh. “My dear, I have been around long enough. I am happy being the way I am. I have no use for things I do not have use for.”

He began to transform into a regular deer. He still had his coloring but was looking more and more like just a normal deer by the second. Before Angel’s eyes, he watched the demon regress into a feral deer, mind and all. He charged at Angel, who was very stunned.

“Noooooo!!!!” He ran from the deer. “You aren’t going to rip off and erase my little buddy!”

The deer charged through a black hole and back, unchanged. Loud jazz music was playing inside Angie’s head. He could not turn it off. He tried to jump away, but Alastor grabbed his legs.

“No, no, no!!!! You’ll never catch me.”

All Alastor succeeded in ripping off in time was Angel’s floof somehow. “NOT MY FLOOF!!!” Angel screamed. Thankfully it grew back instantly. Angel ran and hid in a gutter full of gravy and Batman comics. Bon Scott was there, and so was Alastor! He was back to his normal form, and fully dressed.

“I don’t understand,” Alastor asked calmly. “Why aren’t you happy like me? Would you be happier as a feral spider? I can do that.” 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU MONSTER!” Angel screamed.

But it was too late. Angel fell into a pile of unicorn poop and was absorbed by the void for good. What was left of him if he lived would be having a bad fur day forever.

But it was all just a dream. Angel woke up more relieved than he had ever been. It was all a dream and none of it was real. He would be okay, and he lost nothing. But he gained a very important lesson. Sexual harassment was not okay, but it was okay that some people were asexual. That was something that really was very real. Angel would never forget this and was finally on his way to becoming a better person.

The End


End file.
